Goofy Baseball

The silly side of the game

Bygone baseball by C. Philip Francis

The Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary describes “goofy” as crazy or silly, and there has been much of that in the long history of baseball.  Here are some of those men who gave the fans an often-needed laugh.  I can only list a few of them here, and would appreciate the reader to contact Chatter from the Dugout if you think of any other  “goofy” incidents. 

The Zaniest of Them All (?)

     Herman “Germany” Schaefer clowned through his 15-year career in the early 1900’s as an infielder for five American League teams including the Detroit Tigers and Washington Senators.   With a man on third and Schaefer on first in a 1908 Detroit game Germany stole second.  When the catcher did not throw the ball to second the runner ran back to first, and then “restole” second on the next pitch.  The tactic was quickly outlawed by the rulemakers. 

     Before a game in Chicago the Tiger second baseman bragged to sports writers that he would clobber the White Sox pitching staff.  After Germany’s first and second at-bats were easy outs the razzing got louder and more intense.  As he slowly walked up to the plate for his third time at the plate, Schaefer turned to the fans and announced, “LADEEZ AND GENTLEMEN, PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION!  YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS A MARVELOUS EXHIBITION OF THE ART OF BATTING BY THE ONE – THE ONLY – THE  WORLD’S GREATEST HITTER – GERMANY SCHAEFER!”   The crowd continued to hoot and holler.   

     After the first pitch was a called strike, the batter bowed and yelled, “That’s one for the build-up.”

     Following a called second strike, Germany shouted out, “That’s just for suspense.”

     The Tiger player swung on the next pitch, and sent it over the left fielder into the stands for a home run.  As Schaefer toured the bases he roared out, “Schaefer beats it out at first”, followed by, “Schaefer gets to second before the ball.”  Nearing third base the batter yelled, “Schaefer safe by a mile.” 

After he carefully slid into home plate, Germany stood up, tipped his cap to the people, and trotted back to the bench to much cheering and applause.

    In another game it was raining when the Tigers were losing to Cleveland 5-1.  Germany urged the umpire to call the game off so the contest would become no game if it did not go past four and one/half innings.  When the teams continued into the sixth inning and now a legal game, Schaefer took his regular position at second base wearing a long raincoat!  The umps quickly called it off with the Indians winning 6-1.

      Following his playing years Germany went into coaching and joined Nick Altrock for a comedy sideline routine, and appeared in vaudeville.

Whatever Works

     Norman “Stormin’” Cash covered first base for the Detroit Tigers for 15 years in the 1960’s and ’70’s, and won the league batting title in 1961 with a .361 average – the only season he ever hit .300.  In one game when Cash had already struck out twice with pitcher Nolan Ryan throwing a no-hitter, Stormin’ Norman walked up to the plate with a sawed-off table leg he found in the clubhouse. 

When Casey Gave the Fans the Bird

     Casey Stengel not only entertained people with his storytelling in a special language called “Stengelese”, he also kept the fans laughing with his funny antics.  Casey began a career in dentistry when playing minor league baseball, and once stuck a cigar in a corpse’s mouth during anatomy class.  While playing right field for a minor league team, Casey noticed a manhole nearby.  He somehow pried open the cover and dropped down into the hole.  When a ball was hit his way, the rightfielder popped out and easily caught the ball.

     Hall of Famer Stengel began his long career with Brooklyn 1912 where he stayed through 1918 when sent to Pittsburgh.  After booed by a Brooklyn crowd during his first at-bat as a Pirate, Casey decided to win back his former fans.  He found the way after finding a sparrow near the right field fence, and stuck it under his cap.  As the booing continued during his time at-bat, Casey called time, took his cap off allowing the bird to fly away while bowing to the crowd.  Casey had his fans back.   

El Goofy

     Lefty or Goofy or El Goofy Gomez became one of the top pitchers for the powerful Yankees in the 1930’s playing besides such teammates as Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Joe DiMaggio.  Hall of Famer Gomez was not only good, he had the ability to laugh at himself with such comments as, “The secret of my pitching success it due to clean living and a fast outfield”, and “I’m the man who made Joe DiMaggio famous.”

     Lefty was batting against Cleveland’s young fastballer Bob Feller when he came to the plate with a lighted match.  Plate umpire asked, “What’s the matter with you, Gomez, you know you can see Feller?” 

     “Oh, I can see him.  I just want to make sure he sees me.”

     Gomez did minor league coaching for the Yankees after his playing years ended, and in one game when working at third base there were men on first and second when the hitter singled to center.  The lead runner rounded third, but changed his mind and slid back into third base at the same time the other hitter was sliding into the same bag from the other direction. 

     After the third baseman tagged both runners, Coach Gomez gave out an ear-piercing whoop, and joined the others by also diving into third base. 

Chatter from the Dugout welcomes comments, and may be reached at:  dugoutchatter@ejourney.com

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